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Inflight humor

FandP — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 20:28:59 +0000

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

CONTINENTAL AIRLINES

On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

JAPAN AIR LINES

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.

Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

BRITISH AIRWAYS

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

QANTAS AIRWAYS

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:

“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

NORTHWEST AIRLINES

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced;

“Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

The Italian Job

JFM — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 08:30:35 +0000

Got this in my email. No title at all, except that it is an mp3. Just like to share this with you. No intention of any racial slur. Just for fun.

Press the PLAY button to listen.

Let me know what you think.

New Zealand topless parade

Red Rice — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:15:19 +0000

Where is the world heading to?, you might ask.

For sure, not down under. In New Zealand perhaps? Could be. Have a read of this article that appeared in one of my favorite news sites, Reuters.

This has been a public service topless parade…
Posted by: Robert Basler

It’s time again for the Boobs on Bikes parade down in New Zealand, where porn stars exercise their right to ride topless on motorcycles in public. Last year, 80,000 people showed up to watch. I think that is the entire male population, but don’t hold me to that.

We have a video report on today’s parade, in which a woman watching the event tells us, “People need porn, some people can’t get it at home.”

I guess by that logic, topless parades are some sort of community service?

Cripes. I can’t get big chocolate doughnuts at home, but that doesn’t mean I expect to go downtown and find a Big Chocolate Doughnut Parade. Come to think of it, that would be kind of awesome, and if there was one, I would SO be there!

[hidepost]Yes, as a bonus here’s the link of the related video. Reuters “warned” us there is “partial nudity” in the video. Enjoy![/hidepost]