Got this in my email. No title at all, except that it is an mp3. Just like to share this with you. No intention of any racial slur. Just for fun.
Press the PLAY button to listen.
Let me know what you think.
Bill Gates 11 Rules
08
26
08'
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Category:
Tagged with:
Share it:
Pun is fun? Or, fun is pun?
08
22
08'
What is pun?
“A pun is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.
“A pun may also cause confusion between two senses of the same written or spoken word, due to homophony, homography, homonymy, polysemy, or metaphorical usage. Walter Redfern has said: ‘To pun is to treat homonyms as synonyms’. Another definition has said that a pun is a word that has two different meanings used simultaneously. For example, in the phrase, ‘There is nothing punny about bad puns’, the pun takes place in the deliberate confusion of the implied word ‘funny’ by the substitution of the word ‘punny’, a heterophone of ‘funny’. By definition, puns must be deliberate; an involuntary substitution of similar words is called a malapropism.
“Puns are a form of word play, and can occur in all natural languages.”
Examples of Punny Quotations
“A pun is a shift of wit. A fart is a whift of shit.”
“A pun is its own reword.” — Dance Drier, British comedian
“Blunt and I made atrocious puns. I believe, indeed, that Miss Blunt herself made a little punkin, as I called it” —Henry James
“If puns are the lowest form of wit, are buns the lowest form of wheat?” — Piers Anthony, Author
“Immanuel doesn’t pun; he Kant.” — Oscar Wilde
“In the beginning was the pun.” — Samuel Beckett, Murphy
“Paris of Troy was so named because his mother had a considerable amount of gaul and married a Frenchman.” — Original Source Unknown.
“Pun (n.): the lowest form of humour” —Samuel Johnson, lexicographer
“Puns are the last refuge of the witless.” —another way of stating the above
“The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.” — Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849
“‘The man’, says Johnson, ‘that would make / A pun, would pick a pocket!’” .” — Lewis Carroll, “Phantasmagoria”, 1869
“The pun is mightier than the word.” — original source unknown
“95% words in the English language can be incorporated into word-play (while the other 5% can be ex-pun-ged as im-pun-etrable)” — Wayne Redhart (spoof top 500 reviewer on amazon.co.uk)
“You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.” —Douglas Adams
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pun
Okay. Have pun!
Category:
Tagged with:
Share it:
